What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
