Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
