Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
