Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
