I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
