took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
