Tell her she can't have a vagina
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
