Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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