I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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