Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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