i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
