Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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