i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
