I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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