ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
