I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize