i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize