Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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