I wish I could punch you in the face.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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