you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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