It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
