he wants to bone in the snuggie
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
