i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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