I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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