It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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