I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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