Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
