College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it glows. i had to have it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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