did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
