belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
