This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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