dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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