Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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