if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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