Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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