I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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