dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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