he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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