so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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