To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
