Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
