I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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