You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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