she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
