He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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