Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
