I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
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I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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