I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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