Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
