It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
