So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
