Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
