You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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