Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
