a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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