i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
