you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
