You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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