I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
