i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
