He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i out mim tonsoeep
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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