1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it glows. i had to have it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
