Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
