oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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