morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
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Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
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I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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