dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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